Active Listening

The concept that I thought was more important that we have not already discussed is that of active listening. Active listening occurs when one is present in the conversation, overcomes all internal and external noises and responds to the person that is in the conversation. I try to tell myself to, “be present” when I have speak with guests at my bar and I have what seems like a million other thing racing through my head. When I am not practicing active listening I tend to forget what I was just told and it looks like I am a scrub or unprofessional. Some of the barriers to active listening are pretty ridiculous. Lack of interest and faking attention just seem like excuse and not barriers. If one actually attempts at active listening these should be overcome and if active listening with the person means anything to you than you should be interested. Barriers that to me are reasonable are noise and distracting delivery.

Hearing/Sensing the Message

The last time I had selective attention was probably a very long time ago. Or I just cannot recall because something came up more important. My girlfriend said I had selective attention ten minutes ago when SDSU was playing UCONN and she was trying to ask me for a ride and I said yes even though I do not want to drive across town, I was just rooting for SDSU and they lost today. So did I because I agreed to something I did not want to do. I think this occurred because I was more in tuned with the game, I set aside time to watch and she could not wait for a commercial to ask. The way to fix the issue in my story is that she could have waited until I was not fully enthralled with the game. In other situations, the way to overcome this is to be present in the conversation by practicing active listening.

It's Noisey in Here!

The most recent situation that I found listening difficult was earlier today at my work. I asked one of my guests if they needed any change, while holding their tab. The person’s response was no, so I went on with my business. What ended up occurring is the person sat there for about ten more minutes awkwardly then asked if he could get the receipt because he said he paid with a twenty, I immediately knew what the issue was and I had to figure out how much change he needed. One of the problems is in the first phase with sensing or hearing the message. Either I did not ask the question or asked it not clear enough. Noise could have been the issue. There was external noise coming from our speakers that could have been too loud for either of us to make the right decision on what the other was saying. It could have been overcome by me being clearer with my questions and not allowing external noises to interfere, if they are avoidable.

SpaceTime

Proxemics is the study of how people use space and how it can be a communicator. Proxemics should be studied at a cultural level. Cultures have different views with regards to proxemics. In places where the weather is rigidly cold, people will stay closer together in their everyday actions. Americans have a widen sense of personal space. I know that I like to have my fair share of elbow room and feel closed in when people invade my space. Asian cultures stay pretty close to each other. I think that huge amount of population in a small area can contribute to the lack of personal space. Cronemics is how people use time. Again, this is best looked at in the cultural level. The only time in my life that I have not been a slave to the clock is on vacation. All other times I constantly have to check the clock to make sure I am on schedule.

Period.

Another concept from this chapter that interested me was the concept of verbal interaction talk diagram. I think that there can be many different uses for this diagram. Some of the uses could be helping group members realize that one specific group member is being isolated. After the group realizes this in a periodically pauses where the group can reflect then hopefully the groups receives more input from the estranged group member. Another use is that one could see if a group member is controlling the verbatim process. If this is going on it could be recommended that the group member shares the floor in order for a more egalitarian conversation to exist. Another positive that the group states, is that of discovering which group member could be the leader (Harris 257). The issue that arose to me regarding this diagram is that it is long, tedious, and boring. If I was designated this position more than once I would riot. I do not see the reward of using this tool outweighing how long it takes.

The Blueprint

There are some guidelines for providing observer feedback to a group. The guidelines begin with finding an outside party that can be a competent group observer. The observer works in better harmony in the attainment of the goal of progressing towards complete synergy within the group atmosphere if the observer is not directly involved with the group. Groups should periodically set time away where the group pauses and analyses their group process with the help from the observer. Some groups set away time at the end of the meeting. Asking a question regarding how well the group performed on any given task and using the Likert scale in terms of answering the question well work great. With these questionnaires can be given by the observer to the group members and/or answered by the observer. Again, the goal of these questionnaires is to see how the group and members of the group are functioning. With the knowledge provided from these questionnaire all the group members can use the assessment and hopefully aspire towards improving in aspects that they might not be proud of.

Voyeur

Using a consultant or observer offers many positives that can assist to function of small groups. One of these positives can be an observer being neutral and informing the group of negative communicational tendencies that the group members are exhibiting. An example of this could be the group not involving a specific member of the group or only getting the opinion of the group leader instead of listening to input from all members. It is said that a good group member or leader tries to maximize the amount of input the group receives (Harris 248). Having an observer gives the group another point a view that can later be of assistance in ideas as well as helping in the improvement of group functionality. The observer could have a future positive influence on a group by the use of evaluations. Since the author made it clear that there is a stark difficulty attempting to participate and evaluate a group needs to separate the two duties.